Declan: We has to go to the car now, mom. We has to!
Me: Why? We aren’t going anywhere this afternoon.
Declan: We need the pineapples in the car! Go! Go! He braces palms against my rear end and starts pushing me toward the garage.
Me: Pineapples? What pineapples? Note: Part of what makes this an odd request is that this is one of the only fruits he won’t eat.
Declan: We has to find them!
I’m curious to find out what “pineapple” might be a code word for. I grab the keys and take him to the car to look.
Me: Can you tell me where these pineapples are? Are they in a book?
Me: Can you show me where they are?
Me: Then I don’t know where they are.
Declan: Mom. I wanna drive.
Me: That would be unusual. Babies aren’t allowed to drive cars in Ohio.
I have to stop this habit of calling him baby. He’s almost two and a half. He stopped introducing himself as “baby” recently.
Declan: Of course babies can’t drive, mom!
This ended the excursion. And for some reason, he will now eat a bite or two of pineapple.
Mews of the weird
Last night, as I did some NoBloPoMo surfing, and he was downstairs with his dad…
Me: “Yes, sweetie?”
Declan: Do you know where Elroy is? We’re looking for him. (Elroy is our cat)
Me: “I’m not sure. Did you look in the bathroom cabinet?”
Declan: “No. We looked in the dishing-washer.”
Life soundtrack: The Beatles, Magical Mystery Tour, “Magical Mystery Tour”: Launch