All posts by TZT

Mom. She-hack. Armchair astronomer. Buddhist.

Who are you and what are we doing here together?

Writing a blog is a funny exercise.

When I write for publication, media kits and writer’s guidelines give me some sense of who the audience is, or, more precisely, who the publisher would like it to be.

But when I write here, there is no Power Point-wielding man in a suit trying to tell me that my core audience is 30-something Volkswagen drivers who go out to dinner twice a week and own at least one iPod. No one is trying to push me to write in a way that they think will attract more 23-year-olds because the ad team wants to sell more space to movie theaters and stores that sell sports equipment.

Ultimately, this space is here for me to write things that I will want to re-read ten years from now, not things designed to make more steak house patrons bookmark me. But because I have chosen not to shield myself with anonymity, it’s also tricky, and a bit scarier to dig into the real nitty gritty of motherhood. Overthinking this has has given me a little writer’s block this week that I hope to subvert by delving into NaBloPoMo next week.

Until recently, I hadn’t engaged much with the larger world of blogging. I’d done some of the standard mom blog reading, like dooce, Suburban Turmoil and Breed ’em and Weep. But I’d missed blogs like Twas Brillig, Attack of the Redneck Mommy, Running in Wellies and Not that I don’t love my kids…. Then, a couple of weeks back, I joined Cre8buzz.com, a social network which seems to have drawn an unusually high number of woman/mom bloggers by wisely promoting the fact that unlike MySpace or Facebook, the owners would not deem pictures of women breastfeeding obscene and delete them.

While the aforementioned blogs are among its top stars, there are hundreds more in its ranks, accompanied by a frenzy of women trying to get to know each other, make connections, get their blogs noticed, find respite from domestic isolation, or impart the secrets that make their homes happy. It becomes addictive very quickly – cruising through pages and pages of household scenes, images and mini-essays laced with powerful thoughts about personal identity, marriage, body image, child-rearing, sisterhood, bathroom habits, illness, death, meal planning and accidental comedy. This stuff is authentically funnier and more moving than anything Lifetime could come up with, produced by people with imperfect bodies and faces.

But beyond being a diversion, I realized that the reading I’ve been doing recently has reaffirmed the way I want to look at the world. As a writer, I’ve felt strongly for a long time that everyone has a story worth telling, and those of non-famous people are usually far more interesting than the ones behind the overexposed faces on newscasts and newsstands. The happiest work I have done has generally involved giving rock star attention to un-famous individuals.

For the last week, I’ve noticed faces in the grocery stores that I might have glanced past before and wondered more actively about what kind of extraordinary experiences they might be willing to share, what secrets they possess and if they might be one of the remarkable women I may one day happen upon on the Internet.

Halloween costume, phase two

I kept breaking needles, and I may go get some fusing tape to secure it, but here is the cape for the Universe costume. Declan picked the fabric, which I roughly sewed to a cheapo vampire cape, then added spacey sponge stamps to the collar.

We also have some shimmery purple-green stuff that he keeps throwing over his head and calling the “fabric of space-time,” but I’m not sure what we’re going to do with it.

Phase one has since been embellished with boy-directed-mom-painted planets and pinwheels on the back, as well as stamps up and down each arm. Giga has located sparkly hair and makeup stuff, and I may make a string of glow in the dark stars for a necklace.

We’re closing in on the complete look…!

Perils of working at home

Me: Upstairs, working on a deadline.

(Noise from the bottom of the steps.)
Dan: “Declan, where are you going?”
Declan: “I have to go see mommy.”
Dan: “Mommy’s working, sweetie. Want to read this book?”
Declan: “Okay.”

(5-10 minutes later – footsteps up the stairs)

Dan: “Declan… I told you, mommy has to work.”
Declan: “She doesn’t has to work!”
Dan: “She does, honey. Let’s go play with Arrow.”

(3-5 minutes later. Footsteps again.)

Dan: “Dec, sweetie…”
Declan: “I just have to go up here and say hi to my friend.” (Climbs the stairs faster.)
Dan: “Say hi to your friend?”
Declan: “Say hi to my friend Mommy. ”

(Rounds the corner to my desk.)

“Hi mommy. Can I hug and snuggle with you?”

Must I have no heart to get my work done?
This is why I wish we had a coffeeshop with WiFi just an eensy bit closer to home…

Charming older homes: Make mine unleaded

The surface paint used on Thomas’ caboose, children’s jewelry or Baby Einstein color blocks for infants, has righteously given all mass-produced toys manufactured in China the stink eye lately. That’s because lead paint is dangerous stuff, especially to children under six.

It’s a substance that has the ability to kill when ingested in a high dose, but most often, it just does slow, sure, serious damage. For one thing, even low levels of lead impersonate iron in a child’s system, stubbornly blocking the nutrient, which is so necessary to their physical and mental development, from being absorbed. It can lower IQ, cause ADD or behavioral problems, stunt growth, cause hearing impairment, and more.

The fact is, we are all exposed to it constantly, in many places that aren’t as obvious or automatically alarming as Elmo’s friendly countenance. A pollutant that’s heavy, but able to reduce to very fine dust, it’s extremely difficult to get rid of. And it was extensively used to build and manufacture all kinds of things in America before (many would also say well after) its risks were understood. It’s embedded in soil close to major roadways where millions of cars and trucks cruised through, fueled by leaded gasoline, for decades. And if you live in a house built before 1978 (especially if it was built before 1960), there’s a good possibility it’s in your home, water or soil. If you’ve had your children tested for lead, you likely know that most of us have some amount of it in our blood because it’s everywhere in varying degrees. The danger lies in how much of it you are in contact with.

Since we faced a brief (and thankfully now past) situation with this, I’ve walked through the lovely older homes of many of my fellow parents and realized just how common this toxin is. It’s important to know what to look for. Risky houses exist in upscale suburbs of a town like mine as well as the inner city.

If you live in an old and charming place, as I do, and have a young child (or even one who visits you regularly), consider having a risk assessment or inspection done. Know that older doors and windows are a common source for lead chips or dust, because they can release it into he atmosphere every time they are opened and closed. Only wet dusting and/or using a vacuum with a HEPA filter can effectively eliminate the dust.

Other things I suggest for prevention at your home, or whenever visiting an older home, based on experience:

  • Make handwashing a regular routine for yourself, and your children, from the moment that they begin scooting around on the floor.
  • There’s a good reason that pediatricians want you to give your baby those awful-tasting vitamin drops for the first two years. It’s important that that infants, toddlers and kids have the right amount iron and calcium in their diet. A full store of iron in the body can help prevent the lead from being absorbed long-term.
  • Wash toys regularly, particularly during the early developmental phases when babies and toddlers constantly put things in their mouths.
  • If you can’t afford to replace windows and doors that may have coats of lead-based paint, they need to be repainted every couple of years. (Note: you risk poisoning yourself and everyone in your house if you try to scrape the paint yourself.)
  • Make lead safety a consideration in any home improvement project you do.
  • If you suspect old pipes in your wall, use filtered drinking water if you can, and let the tap run for 30 seconds before using water for cooking.
  • Don’t buy cheap ceramic and painted plastic items from discount and dollar stores (Walmart and Target included). Products marketed to adults seem to go through even less rigorous screening than those for children, even though many are going to homes with children in them.
  • I love antiques, but be careful with those that are painted/distressed. Consider having them tested.There are many more suggestions here.

Today’s post is in honor of Blog Action Day.

If a merchant of death can promote peace…

In all the years that I’d heard the winners of the Nobel Prizes announced in my life, I didn’t know what motivated its patron and founder, Alfred Nobel, until they happened to cover it in a high school class I sat in on last year. And that, my friends, is exactly what the man hoped for on his deathbed.

The inventor of dynamite, his obituary was accidentally printed in a French newspaper eight years before he actually died. It said “Le marchand de la mort est mort” (The merchant of death is dead). Rather than wag his finger at the paper and bluster about “typical liberal publishers” or try to get the editor fired or something, he decided that he wanted a different legacy. A few years later, he willed the bulk of his fortune to the establishment of the international prizes for medicine, physics, chemistry, literature, and, of course, work done in the name of peace.

I realize that there probably aren’t many multi-millionaires reading this blog, which is okay, because I don’t think you have to be one to make a difference. I believe strongly that we all have the ability to transform our legacy as Nobel did, whatever our economic status. In the case of healing the ecology of our earth, a lot of personal, daily choices we already make have a bearing on the legacy we will leave.

Just days after Al Gore and the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change were announced as the recipients of this year’s Nobel Peace Prize, over 12,000 bloggers will turn their thoughts toward the environment. On Blog Action Day (this Monday, October 15), blogs that ordinarily carry posts about make-up, photography, news about company x, auto repair, motherhood and who knows what other topics will all share their own perspective on the environment. Since this is blog is largely about things domestic, I’ll share some things about a household pollutant that we have some personal experience with.

Bloggers Unite - Blog Action Day

If you’re a blogger who hasn’t joined, there is still time. Just click on the banner above and sign up. And if you are a blog-reader, be sure to click the banner on Monday and do some surfing to read a variety of perspectives on one day of global conversation about this one important issue.

Life soundtrack: The O’Jays, The Essential O’Jays, “Love Train”
The O'Jays - The Essential O'Jays - Love Train

Which of these things is not like the other?

It’s surprisingly difficult to find space-themed toys for toddlers. (Last night, Declan slept with a plastic Pluto in his hand.)

So when I poked around in the toy section of a second-hand store last week, I was thrilled to find two sealed bags of space stuff, replete with astronauts, an alien, a satellite dish and a rover, all for about $3. It struck me as a little odd, however, that the construction worker from the Village People was also included.

Life soundtrack: The Village People, The Casablanca Records Story, “Macho Man”
Village People - The Casablanca Records Story - Macho Man

Halloween costume, phase one

We had the idea that Declan could be the Milky Way, Andromeda or the Sombrero Galaxy for Halloween. I bought glittery fabric paint, a black shirt and a bunch of space stencils to start the process, but he quickly decided that he wanted to take over and commandeered the paintbrush. I think it actually turned out better than anything I could have made. It certainly looks more like actual space than stencils would. He even has his own sense of exactly when to stop.

I suggested that it looked somewhat nebula-like, but he said no, it’s a whole bunch of galaxies and black holes.

Small thinking, mommy. Why be a galaxy when you can be the whole universe for Halloween?

More on urban school reform

I’ve spent the last couple of days with my passionate and inspiring colleagues from the KnowledgeWorks storytelling project. At long last, our publications about early college and small school reform are out.

They are available to download online, or you can request free hard copies of one or both. Last year, our work won an award from the Council on Foundations. I have pieces in both of this year’s publications.